


it's not love (but it's pretty damn close)

by funkietowns



Series: love and other emotions [10]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Slice of Life, broken!fanxing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-06 00:21:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13399428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funkietowns/pseuds/funkietowns
Summary: o2/10/16





	it's not love (but it's pretty damn close)

**Author's Note:**

> o2/10/16

He didn’t know if he could go through with it. Not now, not with so many people expecting him to say what they wanted him to. Standing on the altar left a lot to think about. He almost hadn’t been paying attention to the man that was wedding them, because Yifan on his side looked breathtaking and different in the outdoors.

He hadn’t always wanted to marry Yifan. Their relationship was something considerably on the love-hate side of things. In the beginning it was love, but now it was just resentment, loathe in the looks they gave each other. They were an unbalanced couple, mismatched in all ways possible. Yixing didn’t know how they were still together, or how they had managed to stand here now, in front of their families and friends. Everyone knew they had problems, yet no one ever did anything to stop them from committing such a foolish act.

But here they were now, with Yifan staring intently at Yixing as he said _Yes_. He would marry him, he would (try) to love him, in sickness and in health, _blah blah blah_. He would try, but that didn’t mean it would be the same as it had once been long ago. Yifan and Yixing, they were awful, to say the least. They were constantly fighting, and he was always crying and blaming whatever he could on Yifan. He hated when Yifan took the blame because it made him feel that much guiltier and that much more upset with him. And Yifan, he only ever did take the blame because all he wanted was for Yixing to stay. Yifan was used to him, to his incessant outbursts of emotions, and how badly he was wrecked, but only because it was Yixing and it was secure and _he used to love him_.

He thought he loved him now, he thought he loved Yixing with all his heart. In the beginning it was true, anyway. He had loved him dearly, but only because Yixing would play hard to get. When Yifan had him, however, he had loved him passionately so. Not a single moment went by when their eyes didn’t meet, that with a simple gaze, Yifan knew that Yixing loved him, and Yixing knew the same. Now, their gaze was unsure, unconfident, confused, resentful, harsh, unloving.

Yixing knew that Yifan didn’t love him the same, but it was okay because he didn’t either. His mother had been right all along. Love would not last, not when they couldn’t stand each other’s faults, not when they had fucked up so much along the way. She had been right, but it wasn’t stopping them from realizing their mistakes and taking a step back.

It wasn’t out of love that Yixing finally answered with a clear and predictable _Yes_. It was out of familiarity, comfort in the way he remembered things had once been. The gentle kisses to his lips, the way Yifan had held him in his arms at night because he wanted to be ever so close to him, so close that he would never let go. There was none of that now, but he liked to believe they could work on it.

One thing did remain the same, however: they would never let each other go, no matter how much it hurt to stay. It wasn’t out of love that they did this, but it was pretty damn close to it.


End file.
